Someone once asked me where I find the most life. To this I responded…“When I am on stage speaking truth into young and old people.” I honestly had limited experience in this. But what I knew was that when I was on stage I never felt more alive. I never felt the presence of God more. I never felt more alive. Its where I know I am supposed to be!! This is what I know I am supposed to do!!! That feeling is exciting and overwhelming ad is something you want to experience over and over and over again. Its my adrenaline rush. Jesus do it again!!!
I was given another opportunity to speak recently and that exact feeling didn’t happen for me. I left the stage wondering so many things. Was I not right with God before I got up there? Did I not actually believe what I was saying? Was I expecting too much when I got up there? Did what I say even make sense? Jesus what did I do wrong?
The answers I found were this. The setting was very different than the times before. The people I was talking to were very different than the people before. I am in a different place than I was before. And so many other random things that I cant currently put into words.
I know that this is where God has called me! I know that I am going to be doing this for a long time! I want to do this!! But why do I want to do it? I find myself plagued by this question.
Then this question came into my mind. Where do I find the most life? The realization struck me like it never had before. The stage can’t be where I find life. It actually has never been where I have found life.
No.
Life is found when I spend time with Jesus. Life is found when I am in discussion about who He is. Life is found when I am intentional and intimate with Him. He restores me there. He carefully prepares my heart. He corrects me and He shows me who He is in those places.
When I stand up on stage I am not looking for life. I am not looking to be restored, I am not looking for my heart to be prepared or to be corrected or even humbled. The stage is a place where I overflow. The stage is a place where I take what gives me life and I show it to other people. Where I get down on my knees and pray that it is a moment where others are receiving life.
See God wants that intimacy and closeness I felt on stage with me all the time. He wants me to grow in relationship with Him personally and relationally so that when I am on stage I am already alive! What I rely on is Him and Him alone to be my source of life and nothing else.
We all have a stage or platform of some kind. So I then must ask you this question…
Where do you find the most life?